Written by , Directed by Andy Ackerman

Guest starring Marjorie Monaghan as Amanda, William Hill as Mr. Ehrlich

Co-starring Connie Sawyer as Mrs. Yudelson, Ken Magee as smoking guy

"He blames telelvision. You know, what about all the violence that happened before we had television? I suppose the Spanish Inquisition came off a bad episode of 'Gilligan's Island.'" -Becker

"We used to hit the bars and play this game called Catch & Release." -Reggie
"Catch & Release?" -Jake
"Yeah. We'd get all tarted up and let the guys buy us drinks and then at the end of the night we'd toss the guys back and go home." -Reggie

"Jake, don't screw with me. I haven't had a cigarette all day. You know what I'm usually like? I'm more like that now." -Becker

"I know when you're in New Jersey two days must seem like two weeks, but..." -Reggie

"So, is this what they call ghetto chic?" -Amanda
"No, just ghetto. Not quite our condo in South Beach." -Reggie
"Not quite a condo in Omaha beach." -Jake

"I'm blind." -Jake
"And yet you're still staring at my breasts." -Amanda
"Sorry, creature of habit." -Jake

"Hey, Sprockets, smoke it or swallow it, but get it the hell out of my face!" -Becker

"I just got through examining a naked eighty-year-old woman. A lesser man'd be shooting smack by now." -Becker

"Oh, give me a break! You sleep together all weekend now you're gonna shake hands? What are you, British?" -Reggie

"You could finish college." -Becker
"Oh, right, go back to college at my age? I'd be real popular, I could buy the beer. How pathetic would that be?" -Reggie
"No, what would be pathetic is if you and I were sitting here ten years from now having this same conversation." -Becker
"Oh, God. I don't know. I'll think about it." -Reggie
"Well, I didn't say it would be easy, but nothing worthwhile in life ever is.... Too fortune cookie?" -Becker
"Kinda." -Reggie
"Yeah." -Becker