Season 1, Episode 5: My Dinner with Becker


"Caffeinated cigarettes. Am I crazy or is that a good idea?" -Becker
"Yeah. If you're going to smoke yourself to death you may as well be awake for it." -Jake
"Oh look at this story, you're not going to believe this. Forty-five injured in toy store riot. You wanna know what led these mature adults to violence? Those stupid little beanie dolls. Are people's lives this empty? What are we talking about? It's a sweat sock with eyes!" -Becker

"A little tip? Don't poke the bear." -Jake

"How much pleasure can you possibly get from playing tricks on a blind man?" -Jake
"To be honest, more than I ever imagined." -Becker

"I'll have the Cobb salad, no egg, no bacon, no cheese, no dressing." -Kelly
"Are you sure you want the bowl?" -Becker

"If you and I were the last two people on this earth, that would be the only thing that we have in common." -Becker

Written by Teresa O'Neill, Directed by Lee Challat Chemel

Guest starring Brian J. Cousins as Todd, Sandra Guibord as Kelly, Mary Gillis as Mrs. Jordan, J.P. Manoux as Rusty, Thom Gossom Jr. as Mr. Rainey, Steve Hofvendahl as Willie.


Becker meets Reggie's new boyfriend and is immediately annoyed by him.

Becker's patient, Mrs. Jordan, tries to set Becker up with her neice. Becker doesn't want to end up on a blind date with the type of person that goes out on blind dates. Linda misunderstands what a quarterly review is, and gives Becker a review of him. He starts to get mad, but can't yell at her happy child-like face. Margaret gives Becker the phone number for the neice that Mrs. Jordan left with her, and mentions that Linda gave her a poor performance review. Becker's new patient works at an HMO, but thinks seeing one of his own doctors would be a joke. Becker goes back to the diner and is annoyed by Reggie's new cheerful boyfriend, Todd, all over again. Reggie defends him. Becker thinks Reggie deserves someone more challenging. He thinks she's selling herself short. He thinks Todd is too nice. Reggie thinks Becker has no leg to stand on since he never dates himself. He says he has a satisfying personal life. He says he has a date tonight with the neice, Kelly.

Margaret finds a bum who snuck in the back of the office and sends him to take a shower before allowing to make an appointment. Becker digs around in the garbage for Kelly's phone number. Jake notices Reggie's new perfume. Todd comes to pick her up, and goes to get the car. Reggie asks Jake if he thinks Todd is TOO nice. Jake says he's fine. Becker comes in to grab a cigarette before his date, compliments Reggie, and leaves. Jake tells Reggie to stop worrying about what Becker says. Becker is alone at a nice restaurant, and the waiter starts telling him the specials. Becker is pissed and orders a drink. Kelly arrives, and Becker can't believe how beautiful she is. She's a country-western line-dancer. Todd and Reggie arrive at their restaurant, and Reggie can't believe the way that Todd's car go backed into by that guy that took off. Todd is cheerful and says he doesn't want to let it ruin the whole night. Kelly orders a salad with nothing on it, and tells Becker she's an aromatherapist. Todd is telling Reggie how getting stuck in three hours of Holland Tunnel traffic gave him time to think and put him in a good mood. Reggie is having trouble taking Todd seriously. Becker is getting uncomfortable. Kelly has seen "Titanic" 53 times. Todd enjoys paying taxes. Reggie is trying to find something that bothers Todd. Kelly suggests going to Karaoke bar. Becker becomes sarcastic and says that they have nothing in common and takes off. Reggie is getting pissed off because nothing bothers Todd, and she bothers him so much that he leaves. Reggie blames Becker.

Becker comes into the diner, and Reggie tells him he was right about Todd. Reggie tells Becker it's all his fault. Becker is upset that Reggie is sad and tells her to call him. She says she doesn't want to 'cause he was boring and too nice. Becker thinks she's crazy for feeling bad about breaking up with someone she doesn't like. She admits that she's nuts when it comes to men, and maybe she wasn't meant to find anyone. Becker says he's the same way, and not to worry about it. She feels better. There's a moment.... Reggie asks Becker how his date was, and he tells her it was fantastic.