"She'd crush you like a bug." -Becker
"Oh yeah? You don't know Bob. He's one tough little insect." -Bob
"So you're the angry man she's been talking about?" -Jake
"Oh, you know how it is when you're married, you have these cute little names for eachother." -Becker
"So what's your name for her?" -Reggie
"Castrating bitch from hell." -Becker

"In two weeks we're moving to Tennessee." -Mrs. Cruz
"On purpose?" -Becker

"When you met Sandra, she was your friend's wife." -Jake
"Yeah." -Becker
"So that would make you the other man." -Becker
"It was supposed to make me the other man to end all other men." -Becker
"So that would make you the mother of all other men." -Jake

"John, I know I've done some selfish and thoughtless things. I've been unfaithful, deceitful, and even destructive. But I've learned to accept that about myself." -Sandra

"Why don't you tell your mom? You're drivin' her nuts, and that's not something she needs a lot of help with." -Becker

"John, did you really get in a fight with Santa Claus?" -Margaret
"It was a Christmas party, he was our neighbor, and I caught him under the tree unwrapping my wife." -Becker

"Bob just finished reading your ex-wife's book. Usually you have to drill a hole in a tree to get a sap like you." -Bob

"So, did you get the last word in again?" -Reggie
"Oh yeah, I believe my last words were 'Where are my pants?'" -Becker

Written by David Isaacs, Directed by Andy Ackerman

Guest starring Alice Krige as Dr. Sandra Rush, Saverio Guerra as Bob, Douglas Spain as Javier, Jenny Gago as Mrs. Cruz. Co-starring Diana C. Weng as Mrs. Ahn, Joseph Fuqua as Tom.