Season 1, Episode 13: Becker the Elder


"Y'know, I once read about a tribe in New Guinea. First thing every morning they smack themselves in the head with a large piece of bamboo. They figure after that, their day just has to get better. I don't have to do that. I have Becker." -Reggie

"Turn your hat around. You couldn't possibly be as stupid as that makes you look." -Becker

"You can't be John's father. You're so... nice!" -Jake

"Ten commandments just weren't enough, so I added a few. Now I feel especially strong about #26: thou shalt not put pineapple on pizza." -Walter
"I'm with you there. What else you got? No fishnet shirts for men, no clothes on dogs, no accordion music...." -Becker
"Ever!" -Walter


Written by Dave Hackel, Directed by Andy Ackerman

Special Guest Star Dick Van Dyke as Fred Becker

Guest starring Jim Rash as Eddie Blatt. Co-starring Robert Arce as Walter, Lombardo Boyar as Hector, Darlene Kardon as Mrs. Fineman, Arturo Gil as Water Man