Season 1, Episode 12: Love! Lies! Bleeding!


"It's Valentine's Day? Oh crap. Valentine's Day is the shallowest, greediest exploitation of emotion since my second marriage." -Becker

"Congratulations, John, you just claimed another soul." -Jake

"I will yell as much as I want to, Mr. thinks-he's-better-than-me!" -woman
"That's Dr. thinks-he's-better-than-you!" -Becker

"Hey, if you're gonna pee on my car, at least pee on the dusty parts!" -Becker

"So, are you and your husband doing something romantic for Valentine's Day?" -Linda
"'Fraid not. My sister brought her husband and three kids up from South Carolina, so unless we can do it in the mailbox, we're not doing it." -Margaret

"Today's secret admirer is tomorrow's stalker." -Becker

"Allergies can pop up at any time. Kind of like... holidays. You know, it's like this weird emotional obstacle course. No sooner do you get past the rotating blades of Thanksgiving, you got to duck under the live ammo of Christmas and New Years, then when you think you're home-free - BAM! You get attacked by some little Cupid bastard. I mean, y'know, who ever gave a baby a bow and arrow anyway?" -Becker

"Good job, Becker. Jake's a quivering blob thanks to your little head games." -Reggie


Written by Michael Markowitz, Directed by Andy Ackerman